Love Handles

Went out to do a little work and ended up going back earlier than expected. It was only 12.30 in the afternoon and I had nothing to do for the rest of the day. Wonderful. Things sure are getting exciting in 2006.

After a nice shower, I thought I should get some food. As I held my abdomen wondering if I was hungry enough to overcome the bloody hassle of going downstairs to actually buy some food, I began to realise this old body brought along a lotta baggage into the new year. Wow, I was actually getting fatter. I thought I was fat last year. I think the new year may have also given me a new inch of storage space for the winter. And I think I saw the mirror develop a slight crack too.

Oh screw the food, thought I'll go down to the gym, and I did. The last time I visited this place was over 3 months ago. The old man was still there. His body was still better looking than mine.

I went through my routine, working every muscle in my body I could, that was permissible in public. As I left the gym, I felt so satisfied and buffed that I nearly wanted to stop the bus with my bare hands. Some idiot flagged it down and I didn't get to test my newfound bravado, so I got up the bus and went home. Grabbed some food along the way and soon I was in bed.

I just woke up an hour ago. My body doesn't recognise what my brain wants it to do now. Now almost every major movement I make is accompanied with a groan. Only thing I can do without much agony is surf the web, and I end up here after some time. Writing about the pain doesn't make it better either. Think I'm going to go lie down in bed and stay really still now.

I was fat and I went to the gym. Now I'm in pain and just as fat. Wonderful.