What I Have Learnt From Life

There is an eerie compulsion to be nice even though according to certain reliable sources, I am obviously not (I might also say I think that Geylang is just as a reliable source, for virtuous potential foreign brides). An odd Neanderthal need to be appreciated by the ones I love or care about. Much as the darkness that thrives in my words and its incessant whine on the pointless deeds for nothing, people and life, I still end up trying.

Tasting sweet nectar occasionally, I push on only to realize the foul phlegm spat upon my back. I can still feel it encrusted on the blades wedged between my shoulder blades by hands of a proclaimed epitome of empathetic kindness. I guess some people might take the loving stealth, demonstrated in placing the forementioned sputum from a discreetly malicious mouth and knife, without my knowledge, as love. I certainly hope they experience the joy that they so lovingly offer to others, as well. Many times over.

Well, I did talk about the darkness within my words, haven’t I? Nah, I don't wish anything on them. Life has a beautiful road of parity on it's own. Duplicity is amazingly mirrored and ultimately projected to and from the associates in their lives.

But there is a reason for my words, I suppose. Caring and sharing has certainly improved my life. It has lightened my load, especially where assets and cash are concerned. And it has also dramatically provided my complexion with a certain glow, much like a radioactive scrotum.

Do the right thing I say, in light or darkness. Silly me. I’ve been roasting a brick, while dreaming of marshmallows.

I’ve always wondered, if there is really something this world has to offer. After all that I’ve gone through, I can honestly say, yes. Being the deluded clever thing that I am (one might say I resemble those round things found on the tentacles of an octopus), I dove right in to experience every sensation I could from what I would assume to be the beauty of life, within the confines of what I would desperately attempt to hope is the morally correct thing to do. I discovered how life offered me a chance to bleed. I didn’t believe it.

I believed truly in the possibilities of truth and integrity. It gave me a new fork deep in my perineum.

I still believe in life. I truly still do.

I believe it will end eventually. Soon. Please.

Losing Everything

Silence with glowing hatred
With that I bled
Refusing to go through with it again
Can't do anything but remain.

Everything is always against my will
Wanting promises to fulfill
Having no shred of hope
Knowing I could never cope

Nothing worth fighting for
Wouldn't eat anymore
Losing my self esteem
along with my happy dream

Faces in the mirror
Wishing it to be clearer
After all, I'm nothing
from losing everything

- Grace Angelia

Good to be bad, bad to be good?

Men with largely uncontrolled libidos, playing the field with no qualms, seem to have it all. All the pleasures of life (as some would call it) and the lack of baggage on their backs. Of course, we all know someone or many like these. And to be fair, women have their fair share of similarly wild oat sowers. Or rather they let many oat sowers plow their field. We don't really like them, for what they do. Accuse them, they won't care and thus wouldn't bother anyway. Or are we just envious we have not chosen or been able to choose to live the way they do?

Men with largely controlled libidos, playing the game of remaining as good as they can possibly be, seem to have it shoved up their chaste asses. Consider the hen-pecked husband. The obedient sucker boyfriend. And perhaps all those in between. All the heartaches and pain in trying to appease the unappeaseable, with largely no benefits, except perhaps the joy of knowing true love (and pain), and the physical joys of a monk with blue balls, at the mercy of a companion's whims. The pain and feelings of idiocy infinitely soars, when they realise their efforts are largely small in the eyes of others, when inescapable suspicion and its cousins creep into their lives.

Sometimes, I wonder. Is there a point to being nice? Sometimes while sitting on a dry bed of thorns, the grass indeed looks greener on the playing field.

Sometimes I have no idea what I'm writing about. And this appears to perhaps be one of those times.

Apples and Fine Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Men, on the other hand, are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to extract the juice out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Sounds good really, so now who wants to come extract some juice? I can go for dinner after that too.

Life sucks... well sort off.

Does life suck? Well, when you realize no one gets out of it alive, it does put a dampener on everything (well, at least for a while).

That’s not really the main issue I guess, come to think of it, I’m just feeling down. Life’s been sucking waaaay too much stuff from me. Energy, money and more money. I need money, hence I work. Then I realize I need money to work, but the work isn’t coming around to bringing money into my hands as and when I may need it. This is one major suck effect some people call a vicious circle. Anyway, it sucks so much I just need to blow it off.

I thought about it, first thing babies want to do when they come into the world, is suck. Kinda rings an ironical bell of impending warning of a life sucking future, doesn’t it? Well, maybe not for some lucky ones, I guess, like Paris Hilton. But her special video does demonstrate other forms of sucking in her life.

On another note, men may complain how it sucks that they are sometimes expected to treat women when they go for dinner or for some drinks. But we have to be fair to the fairer sex, after all, they need to save that money for stuff men don’t need to buy. Cosmetics and sanitary pads.

See, it all balances out, it sucks for both sexes.

By the way, if you happen to think there are men who buy cosmetics. I should assert that those aren’t men. They probably suck.

Scientifically, the laws of thermodynamics do point this out to us. They can be summed up quite simply as the following statements;

"You must play the game."

"You can't win."

"You can't break even."

"You can't quit the game."

Does that suck or what? Actually, the Bible, does tell us something about this too. After all, when Adam did what he did, God made it pretty clear, everything’s really gonna suck from then on.

Think I’ll have to eat less for now. At least that might actually help me lose some weight. That should allow me to hold on to more cash, and perhaps go out for a drink. That’s sounds pretty good I guess.

Hey, wait a minute. I just remembered that drinking can make me fat. Damn, this really sucks.