Thursday, June 29, 2006

Bird Brains

Been seeing that advertisement where Richard Gere appears, reprising the role of the supposedly bloody rich and horny man who paid for sex with a prostitute and then rather stupidly fell in love with the tramp. This time he looks like a paedophile, eyeing some underaged girl in India.

They should have some more realistic dialogue for the ad.

Indian guide: "If you release the birds, you get good luck. The more birds, more good luck."

Horny rich man: (Thinking "Hell yeah, whenever I get to release my bird, its pretty lucky for me too.")

Horny rich man: "Did you tie that turban too tight? Then who're the assholes who caught the birds and caged them in the first place? Won't they get a shit load of bad luck?"

Indian guide: "Oh, they don't really believe in luck sir, they believe in people with good money. Especially dumb tourists who have Visa cards."

Horny rich man: "Hey, I have one of those cards, lets buy all the birds for that sweet (ooh yeah) little girl and release them for her (I could get lucky)."

Bird sellers (making discreet phone calls): "Are you sure those pigeons have been trained to fly back to the market after they are released? Yes? Yes excellent, sell him the birds."

[cut to next scene, after releasing birds] Pedophile (whose white hair is now oddly tinged in a brownish hue) and little girl playing and splashing water while soaking in the Ganges.

[cut to next scene] Bird sellers still holding onto the Visa card.

One asks: "Now what?"

Another answers: "You idiot son of unknown numbers of malnourished men, I told you we should have applied for the credit card slider thingie."

Yet another mumbles: "Well, at least the birds came back ..."
[and cut]