Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Motivational Antonyms

I used to find these (among others) really funny.

I'm told when life gives you lemons, you make lemon juice. Only thing is, I'm beginning to suspect I've been handed rotten lemons that were left in the sun a little too long. Oh how I love my life now.

It makes me look forward to its end.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Shut Down Day

Its an amazing idea. Techies and all to shut down or unplug themselves from their computers and technology for today. Go get connected with your non-virtual life again! I love this idea, in fact I wish they could make it a monthly or weekly event.

As you can tell, I'm using this day to come online, taking advantage of the hopeful faster surfing speeds due to lower traffic, while others sit at home watching paint dry. Seriously, I have no life, so thats what I'd be doing if I actually shut myself off from technology.

Imagining myself a day without internet access. I'd be lost. And if I had to turn off the TV too, I'd fucking go mad. Just thinking if I also had to keep away from the listening to music on my player as well, would probably make me really unplug the wires and wring them around my own neck.

Can u imagine the geeks of the world suddenly abandoning their technological devices and virtual lives? It could quite possibly lead to a massive surge of aimless zombies roaming the streets. And zoned out faces at cafes, staring into coffeecups to seek out new life, new civilisations, and boldly go where no geek has gone before, without his notebook or PDA.

Some, or perhaps many, may tell me to go get a hobby. Well, my hobby is going online and playing games etc. Get another non-virtual, non-technological hobby, they'd probably say. So lets think, what could I really do anyway?

Sports? I don't even like playing sports on the computer. Why would I enjoy the real thing? Besides, I have a bad back and thus severely limiting my options to wading in shallow waters and fishing for prawns. Not really my cuppa tea.

Gathering with the family and friends perhaps? This genuinely sounds good. Because it is. But that won't use up the entire day. A few hours perhaps, before most of us get tired of yakking away about recent events and old funny moments during childhood, such as theone where we peed into our uncles' and aunts' shoes during weekend gatherings. And soon, everyone will be wondering when this pisshead is going to leave. So really, we still have lots of time to spend even with this option.

Perhaps I could spend my time reading. After all, I used to read books voraciously. As I looked at the mouldy tomes on my shelves, I realised I hadn't bought a book in years. Yes, I get most of my stuff online now, even novels. Perhaps a newspaper? Hmm, even if I read the entire thing, including combing through every classifieds advertisement, it wouldn't take me over an hour. Nuts.

Hey wait, some nutjob at the back of my mind whispered "sex". Cool, now this would actually be something I could spend the entire day and night on. Mmm, imagine the cuddles, snuggling and playful touches. The passionate kissing and much more. Mmm, yes, if I had someone now who'd bring my day to such a wonderful repose. That would really... sigh, I feel depressed now.

Hmm, perhaps I should go for a holiday. I never really get the urge to go online etc. when I'm on holiday. Great! I've decided. I'll take a holiday... someday. And I shall obvserve my personal Shut Down Day then. Meanwhile, I'm going back to that online game. I hope I get to login, as its a Saturday today and thus probably jam packed with no lifers like me.