Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Head Stoned

It hasn't been a good day. Halfway through a meeting with colleagues at Macs, my brains felt like rocks were beginning to form inside what little grey cells I currently have left. Must've been the screaming school kids that suddenly filled up the mall even as we were trying to talk business. Bloody schools should lock them up till dusk, before handing them back to their parents who should lock them up till morning before sending them to school.

Hadn't had a migraine attack for a long time now, and its sudden return felt like James Gomez being fed his minority forms up the ass by "well-loved" minister Wong (who) can't sing. Not particularly nice. (Editor's note: "well-loved" is used loosely here, perhaps similar to the love felt for huge hemorrhoids).

It felt like going through hell just to get home. I immediately popped 2 'panadol extras', and stripped myself as I headed towards the showers which I hoped would help clear my head's sudden decision to inflict some pain into my wonderfully monotonous life. Yup, if you picture me stripping right now, you might personally capture the gagging nausea I felt as I hit the showers.

I must've sat in the bathtub under the shower spray, for quite a long while. Was kind hoping for a cool spray, but of course the wonderful hot sun over Singapore seems to get its jollies by boiling the water tank above my HDB flat every afternoon. After I felt a little better, I towelled off and went to bed hoping to get some sleep. If you can picture me bummed out nude in bed, you might again fairly understand the mind-numbing nausea that still lingered, even as you try to control your own gag reflex.

Went off to pop another couple of 'panadol extras' before I finally managed to reach dreamland, where immense pleasurable possibilities exist. But of course, these possibilities usually hide away the moment they see me nearing dreamland's MRT station. Truly a reflection of reality. Positively cruel to know its there and yet unable to get some.

And now some hours later, I feel no pain. Its like my body has developed soft unfeeling heavy putty which covers me from head to toe.

I was just thinking how incredibly ironic that I could get no head, but I get headaches. Then the optimistic voice whispers in my incredibly stoned mind that things are getting better. The last time, I got laid up with a slipped disc, instead of just plainly getting laid.

Monday, May 08, 2006

Stoned Youth

As usual, my mind dreams up wonderfully idiotic stuff when I'm bored. This might happen anytime, but its happening right now. Guess thats better than some people indulging in what would be a short game of two-ball billiards with their sad little cues.

Beer would seem to make a person fat. And fat helps smoothen out wrinkles. It would thus appear that the more beer you drink, the younger you would appear to be. So drink up, you old farts!

Sadly, you'd hardly get any quality nookie looking like a young fat drunkard. Payoff's a bitch. And usually one helluva fat bitch too.