Friday, April 25, 2008

Happy Families

It is now official. May 24 has been named Family Day Out and it will be an annual affair. Parents can now rejoice knowing that they can bring the family out in one massive national campaign once every year, to jostle with other families everywhere in Singapore.

I'm almost certain everone will be so happy to be mingling with the throngs of families, enjoying the sweet sounds of crying babies and incessantly noisy children. Not forgetting the nice slow pace everyone can look forward to as the elderly join in the fray. Sounds fun. The prospects of queuing for toilets in public attractions should prove overwhelmingly attractive for families out to enjoy themselvestoo.

Of course we can also look forward to restaurants and various other businesses to eventually help promote this heart warming day with new promotions at inflated prices, as this new potential public holiday gets popular.

Fathers can now assure their children than they can look forward to a nice day out every year, thus ensuring them of other more mundane activities like nights out with the boys, and working overtime. And children in Singapore can boast of how their parents will take them out next year, after May 24.

Personally, I bring all my children everywhere I go. It helps that they all fit snugly within my testicles. I figure many of them are probably mature enough to have their own children, but I guess they found no reason to leave their comfort zone.

Monday, April 21, 2008

When The Wind Feels Like The Devil's Fart

It was yet another amazing day.

I just had to make sure I got this down so my grandchildren can read it some day. Assuming one of their parents ever find their way out of my balls.

Besides, I had nothing better to do.

Woke up to find an old friend who has come back from a long holiday. I wouldn't probably call it a friend, but it seems intent on making close contact with me. Good ol' Mr. Migraine. A real bastard. Felt like my both halves of my brains decided to do a 69. And it sure didn't feel good one bit.

Its times like these that you wish the advertisements for Panadol were 100% accurate. I decided the doc was probably able to do something about it at least, but after the arduous journey to the next block where he does business, I find the clinic filled with people. It was an epidemic. It was Monday. Bloody malingerers. I was once one of them, till I stopped working that is.

Anyway, looking at the number of people, I decided going home to rest was a better choice and so I took a slow trek back to the squarish cave on the rectangular mountain I call home.

Boredom and depression, doesn't mix well with headaches. Playing games didn't give me the kind of satisfaction I needed. But it was tolerable, I've not found real satisfaction for a pretty long time anyway. Haha... Damn, even laughing feels like piercing my skull with a bamboo pole.

Maybe I'll pay a visit to my good friend, Mr Whiskey later. He's nice.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Good to be bad, bad to be good?

Men with largely uncontrolled libidos, playing the field with no qualms, seem to have it all. All the pleasures of life (as some would call it) and the lack of baggage on their backs. Of course, we all know someone or many like these. And to be fair, women have their fair share of similarly wild oat sowers. Or rather they let many oat sowers plow their field. We don't really like them, for what they do. Accuse them, they won't care and thus wouldn't bother anyway. Or are we just envious we have not chosen or been able to choose to live the way they do?

Men with largely controlled libidos, playing the game of remaining as good as they can possibly be, seem to have it shoved up their chaste asses. Consider the hen-pecked husband. The obedient sucker boyfriend. And perhaps all those in between. All the heartaches and pain in trying to appease the unappeaseable, with largely no benefits, except perhaps the joy of knowing true love (and pain), and the physical joys of a monk with blue balls, at the mercy of a companion's whims. The pain and feelings of idiocy infinitely soars, when they realise their efforts are largely small in the eyes of others, when inescapable suspicion and its cousins creep into their lives.

Sometimes, I wonder. Is there a point to being nice? Sometimes while sitting on a dry bed of thorns, the grass indeed looks greener on the playing field.

Sometimes I have no idea what I'm writing about. And this appears to perhaps be one of those times.

Definition of Pain

pain (arch.)

punishment, penalty (now only in phr.);
suffering; †trouble, difficulty XIII; (pl.)
trouble taken in doing something XVI (earlier sg. do one's p., etc.).
ME. peine, paine — (O)F. peine :— L. pœna penalty, punishment, (later) pain, grief — Gr. (Dorian) poinā́, (Attic) poinḗ expiation, ransom, punishment, rel. to OSl. cěna price.
Av. kaēnā- punishment, Skr. cáyate avenge, punish.Hence painful hurtful; †laborious. XIV.

© The Concise Oxford Dictionary of English Etymology 1996, originally published by Oxford University Press 1996.

Oxford says it all. If only they provided information on how to end it. Someone mentioned its called a bullet.

But the only way to get one in Singapore is to sign up as an idiot working under other career idiots (who wouldn't survive long in a real war) with self hyped ranks earned from deskjobs and colourful reports of bravery while dressing a wound for an old lady during a peace mission to a foreign country.

Bloody pain. Pain sucks ass. Especially the kind you can never see or mend with medicine or bandage.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Bowels of Life

It's been an amazing journey. The kinda amazement one gets when you step on a slippery turd and fall headfirst onto the toilet bowl, cracking the porcelain and lying there unconscious while shit drenches your comatose body.

One might think that falling into a dark pithole of life, resembling the very bowels of reality, you'd have reached rock bottom and the only way is up. Except the footholds you discover as you try to climb back up are really either illusions or they simply crumble at your every touch.

So you fall back, onto what you thought was the cold hard bottom. Only to discover its not as hard as you may have thought, as it gives way and you fall through it. Down further yet, making new explorative discoveries that beneath the pit holes of life, is it's sewer system.

I wonder, is the only way out, the light ahead, not what I think it could be? Sigh.