A Prayer.

I am writing this down now, that I might remember how and what I am feeling.

It's not the first, and when I felt so before, something has or will happen in my life. And it's not a good feeling. The last time I felt something similar, it changed my life and threw it into the gutters for a couple or more years. Other times, I may not have realised the changes or perhaps I didn't pay attention in my own spirituality. Other times, I felt blessed and had embarked on mission work for a short while.

Now, my mind seems to be going in circles giving me a numbed headache, my heart racing downwards as if towards a certain unsavoury feeling. I am rather nauseous intermittently. There is a bad feeling around me, what perhaps one might call bad vibes.

I know not what to do. Yet I feel like my Father God is stirring the Holy Spirit in or around me and perhaps warning me or perhaps preparing me for something to come, or already has.

I praise Your Name above all names.
Give me strength oh Lord, and wisdom.
I trust in Your ever-abundant comfort and love.
Whatever it may be, or may not,
I shall endeavour to walk with You always.
I'm sorry oh Lord, and do forgive me, where I have trespassed against You.

You are my shepherd; I shall not want.

You make me to lie down in green pastures;
You lead me beside the still waters.
You restore my soul;
You lead me in the paths of righteousness
I will be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication,
with thanksgiving, letting my requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding,
will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus."

Thank you, Jesus. In Christ's Name.
Amen.

Perhaps, You'll have a little whiskey with me. In moderation.

True Happiness

Have you heard of the 17th-century theologian Samuel Rutherford? Perhaps it’s time to resurrect his faith-inspiring memory.

Rutherford, a member of the council that wrote the Westminster Confession, was imprisoned because of his beliefs. While in prison, he wrote this soul-strengthening letter expressing the joy that sustained him through his trials: “If God had told me some time ago that He was about to make me as happy as I could be in this world, and then had told me that He should begin by crippling me in all my limbs, and removing me from all my usual sources of enjoyment, I should have thought it a very strange mode of accomplishing His purpose. And yet, how is His wisdom manifest even in this! For if you should see a man shut up in a closed room, idolizing a set of lamps and rejoicing in their light, and you wished to make him truly happy, you would begin by blowing out all his lamps; and then throw open the shutters to let in the light of heaven.”

When the candles that light up our darkness are blown out, let’s rejoice that God is throwing open shuttered windows and pouring in the sunshine of His love.