Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Sweet Sounds Of The Morning

Today’s really boring. Not much to do except some laundry.

So as I stand at the window at the kitchen, I hear the familiar (and unbearably irritating) blast of hand-held horns. Along with it came the catchy Hokkien version of the Karung Guni Song (Sell Me Your Junk ditty). Come on, sing along, you know you want to…

“Karung guni, po chua, sah kor….
… pai laylio, dian see keeeeeeeee…….!!”

(horn horn horn horn horn horn horn horn) *fucking airhorns*

(until someone gives you junk, or when you finally feel stupid)

This fella walked around the car park for about 10 minutes, playing with his horn and shouting the same shit over and over, like he was auditioning for Singapore Idol. I think this scene pretty much plays out the same in many other neighborhoods in Singapore. But this area where I live was quite exceptional.

Right after he gets up his van and drives to another part of the neighborhood, a lorry comes in and William Hung gets off and starts singing the same song (and yes, with the same bloody instrument). It’s incredible; I imagine the law against killer litter is really to protect these noisy farts with their noisy horns.

What fascinates me (besides the intense irritation at the bloody noisy ruckus) is that as this one leaves as well, another arrives. What the hell?!

What makes this clown think anyone will wait for him, instead of selling whatever crap they have to the first available “rag & bone” singer. And how much crap do they think people keep anyway, that they have to come daily to ask for more crap.

And so the show goes on, there are a total of 5 Acts. Each played out with different singers and slightly different “give me your shit” songs, and different “rhythmic” horn accompaniment. Each Act took about five to ten minutes to play out. All this time, no one got to buy or sell shit. Soon, the beauty of pristine silence returned.

Of course, tomorrow the same bunch (or maybe not, I don’t really care) of 4 to 5 fellas again taking turns to sing their song. It will begin at about 8.30 to 9am, almost religiously. Imagine trying to sleep off your hangover through this racket, after a party last night. You’d wanna put a racket through their karung guni heads. And I won’t charge for that racket too.

Oh well, its nice and quiet again. Think I’ll go look at my neighbors at the next block now. Hopefully, I can catch one of them walking around naked in the privacy of their homes, and then sue the fool for insulting my modesty.

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