Monday, February 09, 2009

Away

I stare out of the windows, into the dark night. Lights from homes around me shine like beacons in the shadows that cover mine. The stars have hidden themselves tonight, refusing to share their radiant beauty above, while glaring surrogates of artificial ones on the streets below vainly attempt to fill their place.

I wonder where, she might be, ignoring probabilities that answer my nostalgic mind. She is away. Not here. The breeze replies. So very far away.

The wind brushes my face; I struggle to let it disperse my thoughts. All it does is scatter my broken mind.

I pretend I can see her. I pretend I am fine. Even as I watch everything crumble, piece by agonizing piece. I think I see her, even when I know it is not. A farcical wait for a new day, knowing I truly seek its dusk and the darkness to rest my charade.

Will she remember me, or think of me, even in irrelevant moments of her life, if I was away. Would she even know? Perhaps, relevance has left, and the wind howls in the empty chambers of my heart. Decaying, cleaved and hollowed by that which has gone away. Away to a life unfettered by me.

Perhaps she will smile. While she is away. I find comfort that she will, and perhaps the stars are with her tonight.

The stars are away tonight. Nothing is here tonight. The wind sings to me tonight, alone in a crowded city of lights.

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