Wednesday, April 01, 2009

April. Fools. Everywhere.

I wasn’t entirely bothered by today being yet another major non-event “celebrated” by people from all over. Yes, April Fools’ Day, another day that is nearly on par with Valentine’s Day.

You either hate it, or love it. Or if you’re like me, you don’t really give a fuck or remember. Until several people I know started having their jollies at another person’s expense. Someone I know played an “I’m back in town, let’s get together ‘prank’” on her friends. I wonder how excited they’d behave when it really happens. Hahaa. People don’t like to be fooled twice.

And if you are within my circle of friends, you’d have a friend’s birthday today. Which makes me wonder about the countless jokes his parents, doctors and nurses could’ve been playing that very day he was born.

Some brave souls may want to try going down to their neighbourhood provision shop (grocery shop, for you foreign readers). Order lotsa shit, make’em carry several bags of rice for you to the cashier, bundle several loose items together etc. And when its time to pay, just laugh and shout “April Fool!”.

There’re always better uses for each situation. Why not make use of the day? Are you feeling lonely? Or just plain curious? Or maybe you’re a horny goat with blue balls? Ever wondered if that lady friend of yours had a secret desire to shag you? Or perhaps just a minor “ok, I don’t mind him humping me if I had no one else when I’m high and horny” demeanor?

Ask them today. If the answer is not positive, it’s an April Fools’ prank. If it is, well, I’m sure you know what to do.

And ladies, of course, fear not, especially if you’re reading this. After all, you could take this joke further. You could even stretch the positivity in this situation even longer. Leading him on all the way, making him strip himself. And then shouting “April Fool” at his soon-to-be rapidly diminishing manhood.

I’m staying home during this day of festive idiocy.

Oh wait, I’ll play a little prank on my sofa later, I’ll tell it I’m not going to be sitting on it today. And then sit anyway. Yeah, lame. That’s what I think of April and fools.

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